Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I woke up when

I woke up when Jesus came
I was witness to his fame
Once was war without cease;
Now a brand of death called peace.
Silence ever was his food
As he ate he soured the mood.
He was friends with one called Pain
I woke up when Jesus came.

5 comments:

EDL said...

Hm, I don't think I've read much of your poetry. Wow, I like it! It's very morbid sounding, or am I reading it incorrectly?

Lacey said...

yeah, it's pretty morbid. I had a vague idea it was someone Jesus brought back from death who decided he/she didn't like being "awake" after all.

Evan said...

I like the rhythm of it. I have to admit that I felt deceived that I was reading something liturgical at first. But then, as it gets to about the 4th line, I realized I'd been duped! Haha.

I really liked this part:
"Once was war without cease;
Now a brand of death called peace."

Rad!

Gunslinger said...

I really like it. I'll admit that I didn't really understand it, but I'm as bad at reading poetry as I am writing it.
It's short, simple, and returns to the starting point very neatly. I enjoyed it.

Cedar said...

It does have a good rhythm, and the rhyming never got awkward. (I have trouble with that a lot.)

I read this as someone witnessing the Second Coming, with all the fun Revelations stuff happening: "War without cease" and all that. It's neat that something so short can be interpreted so differently!