Thursday, July 17, 2008

Den of Thieves

Jack Dawkins looked across the table. The buxom blond was chewing gum, rolling it about with her tongue and working her jaw rapidly.

"So, miss... Nancy, is it?" he said. "I see you've got quite an unusual list of references."

She chewed her gum faster. "Yeah, well. Just ask any of 'em, I'm the best at what I do."

"And you don't get caught?" he prompted, glancing at her hands. "You have light fingers."

She laughed, a little taken off guard, but never stopped chewing gum. "Light Fingers. Aint never been called that before. But sure! Light enough for the work," she insisted, and gave a nod of her head. "Never had any trouble with the law, neither, leastwise none I couldn't wiggle my way out of." She demonstrated her wiggle.

Dawkins stared. "...Yes, well." He looked away, then back again. "I need people on the streets who can handle themselves. I'm sure you wouldn't have any problems artfully dodging any trouble--MISS NANCY!"

Grinning, she paused, her hand hovering delicately at the buttons on her blouse. "What? This is an interview, ain't it? Want to see as I can handle myself, don'tcha?"

Turning red, Dawkins said grimly, "I'm afraid you've misunderstood my particular need for this job. We're a pick-pocket gang, Miss Nancy."

The blond straightened, her gum momentarily forgotten. "Streetwalkers, your ad said," she snapped.

"An ad that shall need to be clarified, I'm afraid," Dawkins told her. "Good day, and - do check to see your purse is in order before you go. Some of the new recruits like to practice."

Nancy snapped open her purse with a furious gasp.

"And, er, should you ever decide to reconsider your career, Miss Nancy - come back and see old Jack Dawkins."

7 comments:

EDL said...

*Giggle* It was very cute and just the right amount of suggestive! I really don't have anything to critique. Loved it :)

Evan said...

Dear Lacey,

As a regular reader of yours, I feel it is important that I voice a strong concern about the content of this last post.

You see, it just needed to be more...

SMUTTY!

I kid. The smut was just right.

However, I think it would have been nice to see Mr. Dawkins be more dirty and grungy. He is recruiting pickpockets for his street gang, after all. For me, it would have made his surprise even better because he's not exactly a scrupulous person. I'm always amused to see where scum draw the line.

Excellent work sexing it up, though. I don't know if I could do it with the same finesse. It would probably be more like "Mr. Dawkins looked at Miss Nancy's hands and fantasized about getting a hand job."

Gunslinger said...

You know, Evan, at first I thought the same thing. This guy is a gang leader, a pick pocket, a scumbag. He was too sophisticated and he shoulda taken advantage of her.

But a second later I was appreciating how much like a real job interview it was. The guy talked like a manager at an interview and the fact that he was interviewing for pick pockets and his applicant was a confused hooker just made the contrast more amusing.
Ah, if only the interview had continued... I'd have loved to see her answer the question "So, what would you saw is your greatest flaw?"

Cedar said...

I disagree with the guys--I think it works better with Dawkins being like a normal manager conducting a normal interview. If he'd been dodgy, I think it would have taken away from the reveal of who Nancy was and why Dawkins was interviewing.


Hehe... this really did make me laugh out loud.

Fandros said...

Lol, i liked that the case of mistaken identity was a newspaper add.

A prostitute applying to be a pick pocket, I liked it.

it did seem like a normal interview at first, i loved the end. "And, er, should you ever decide to reconsider your career, Miss Nancy - come back and see old Jack Dawkins."

Lacey said...

The Artful Dodger in Oliver Twist always claims to be a gentleman of the finest sort. Naturally, I took his lead (as the only pickpocket persona I really know).

To answer your question, Aron:

"I got surgery once, left a scar on my back, you know." She chews her gum faster. "But it don't get in the way of my work. Can't hardly tell it's there, leastwise, not with that tattoo under it. Wanna see?"

Jason Coleman said...

It was good; I enjoyed the distinct voices that the characters used. I would have liked to see one or two more exchanges between them before the reveal, in order to heighten the "tension" from the confusion. Very creative take on the prompt this week, it was a fun read.