Wednesday, July 9, 2008

What Sapling tells his Seedling

There once was an impatient maple
Who grew foolishly fast as he was able.
The wind blew up his skirt,
He tore loose from the dirt,
And starred posthumous in this pro-patience fable.



5 comments:

EDL said...

Very cute and a good limerick. My only "negative" comment might be the word choice "posthumous." Seems a little wordy in comparison to the rest of the poem.

Gunslinger said...

Wow, you rhymed! I'm always impressed by that, I'm terrible at it. Maybe that's why I like haiku.
Well, you say right in the last line what the moral lesson is, so I can't embarrass myself by guessing wrong :P
Personally, I think it's good. Slow down or get swept away is something that inspires me right now, especially after reading this great book, Tuesdays with Morrie.

Evan said...

Cute fableric (new portmanteau!) about an antsy tree that doesn't quite get why trees have their reputation as stalwart anchors of the forest.

And what's more, he PAYS for it in the end! Mwaha!

This reminds me of a song that Aron and I learned from our mom about two very impatient grapes. (Little did we know we were learning a fable!) Maybe Aron will sing it to you all at game, if he hasn't already.

I tend to agree with Erica about the use of posthumous. But at the same time, I'm not sure. Bah, I say it's fine - leave it as-is!

Gunslinger said...

You're going to have to get me started on that song, Bro..it's been long and long since we sang it...

Lacey said...

I think you're right the word "posthumous" is too wordy there. Any other way I can get across that the tree died succinctly in that line?